Even as a child, James was by teachers and parents as a happy optimist. As the story goes, one day his parents decided that a joke about him and test his attitude which he has to spend an afternoon cleaning stables leave what was a local race track.
Already after two hours, James' parents watched him sing, while happily shovels manure. Astonished, she went closer, only to hear him say over and over: "There must be a pony here somewhere."
James was, of course, what researchers always more to discover: optimistic thinking skills are a powerful antidote to anger, because the optimist has a better resistance to depression when bad events strike, better performance at work, better physical health and better relationships. Who could not admire and love a person with such a great attitude?
But what if you are not by nature optimistic? How can you an optimist if you now need to see the glass as half empty instead of half full?
The good news is that the psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman, optimism is a learned mental skills. As a former president of the American Psychological Association, he has much of the research to his theory.
There are four ways to argue with itself:
At its core, is an optimistic style to interpret that the events in your world - it is your personal theory or explanation of why the good things and bad things can happen.
While everyone experiences both back and victory in the normal course of life, optimists - in contrast to the pessimists - have a very different style to explain what for themselves.
Said another way, it is your belief about what happens to you that your reaction more than the event itself.
The gift of your convictions parties is a thought-skills, mastery of the morph that you created in the optimistic style of thinking. There are four ways to do this:
1). Look at the evidence. According to Dr. Seligman, the method of disputing a negative belief is to show that it is factually incorrect.
Most of the time you have "reality" on your side. Their role is that of a detective as you ask, "What is the evidence for my faith?"
For example, is it really true that you never succeed? (Very doubtful. Each succeeds, a part of the time.), The parents are the worse you know? (Can you remember you had a success as parents?)
That you are an incurable glutton? (Can you sometimes resist food?) That you are incredibly selfish? (How many times have you been unselfish?)
With this ability to adapt to the demonstration, you can defeat pessimism with more accurate perception and recall what really is true.
2). Alternative causes. Most events in the world have more than one cause. Pessimists latch on the insidious, optimists tend to give themselves a break.
For example, a marriage-dissolution usually has many causes which are likely to be his downfall. You can even blame. You can use your partners. An optimistic interpretation is that neither partner is not as an individual, it was the relationship (the combination) that does not.
3) Put events into perspective. If the facts are not on your side and you can not see it, honest to other causes of a negative case, you have to deal with the impact of faith on an optimistic thinker.
Is the case really as disastrous as you can in your head? (Note: Some things are). Normally, the effects or long-term effects of the accident are not as devastating as terrible or you can see them.
4) Is your belief useful? Even if the belief is in fact true, it may not be useful. Some convictions more pain than they are worth. You can say you are a failure, for example. This conviction is likely to cause you to stop trying.
Instead, substitute a more useful belief like "Just because I did not even make me not to fail." Then behave in accordance with the new faith.
Optimism in learning to use anger and you can improve your health. These four steps will help you make your negative tendencies to be overcome and a more optimistic view on life.
About the Author
Dr. Tony Fiore is a way. California licensed psychologist, management trainer and anger. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products for individuals, couples, and at work. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter "Taming the Anger Bee" at http://www.angercoach.com and two bonus reports.
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